Scott: I got you a present.
(demonstrates opening a soda can with magical doohickey)
Me: That’s genius. You’re a genius.
Scott: See, that’s what you’ll think every time you use it. ‘He was a damn genius.’
Me: …why am I thinking of you in past tense?
Scott: Because I’ll be dead.
Me: WHY WILL YOU BE DEAD?
Scott: Because you won’t need to use it until after I’m gone. Until then you’ve got me to open your sodas.
Me: Are all geniuses this morbid?